Dear Young Girl

I’m sorry that you are at a stage in your life in which you question who you are and why this had to happen to you. 

I’m sorry that the media has placed too much emphasis on this unfortunate turn of events and cast your accuser as somewhat a victim.

 I’m sorry that you are not receiving the protection you believe you would get, as society is too caught up on protecting the image of a man who seems to make sleeping with girls a skill than that of a pastor.

I’m sorry that you are another statistic; another young woman who will develop trust issues unless she received counselling for what happened to her and justice is served in the end.

What I can say to you is to be happy, why? You have opened a door to a dark place which people thought would always be closed. People have wanted to burn, shoot and damage that door. The same door that was opened for you. 

Pay attention at this time as secrets will now be stories and positions will be revoked to fix the problem of elderly men believing it is their right to sleep with younger women.

I don’t know what your mother or father was thinking but at no point should you be the victim of such a crime. A matter of indulgence for an older dried up Fart. 

I hope you gain strength from this experience. One in which if you were to this said man you would smile and move along. As he did not break you but made you stronger. 

Use this new voice that you will develop to encourage other women and young girls out there to speak up and rid this nation of men who believe that they have a right to take from the cradle. 

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I’m a Boxer 

I feel that this year I’ll do more of what I want to do.

Years ago, I was this child filled with greatness and as the years went by I had allowed comments to guide my actions.  Not understanding then that people aren’t perfect. We are all guided by our experiences and at time strongly believe what comes out of our mouth.

   “I don’t see you as that type of person”

   “You? ??!!! LOL”

   “You can’t dance”

   “No!!! Dat no soun ‘ good” (me trying to         sing and started wrong)

Oh the fuck yous and bashed in heads I have for you. Yes, I’m short tempered that’s why I’m on the reserved end of the vocal spectrum. The many years that I’ve been in this ring called life taking hits from those considered amateurs and heavyweights and boy some of these boxers were annoying in their approach. 

I will never forget when I visited my ailing grand cousin and when asked to pray for my mother (she was a pastor in her day), she looked at me and spoke. What she said unfortunately I can’t remember. I thought it was a mistake, and thinking about it now it was God’s way of showing me that he did not forget me. That he was still and always watching over me. 

My “relationships” have been interesting but I won’t ever say that I regret them but I know now that I’ve grown from then til now. There are few loose strings that need to be cut and that will be soon. 

I’ve reached a point where I’ve realized that I’ve been living for people and have not truly lived for me. That ends now. How can I be an adult if at 24 I’m still concerned about what people have to say? None a unno cyah beat me; the most you can do is get upset and malice me. You do that, I can get a break from you for a while. I won’t be the one affected. There are moments in which they’re advice would count but not always. 

I’m learning to be my true self and I like it. You can deny yourself for so long but eventually it will affect you immensely. 

Evidence of what I can be was first noticed on my leadership challenge for the Blue Mountains. There were moments where I wanted to give up but motivated myself on the fact that I couldn’t tell people that I was there as I never made it to the top. Plus the mountain kept croaking in the dark. Another instance was being president for  my Optimist Club. Right now, I have no idea what I’m doing, but the reassurance of my exec team, members and other Optimist members have me pushing to make my year a good one. 

My beauty is an factor that in my reflection I’m taken aback.Why are you intimated by me though? You see immense beauty and all I can look it how strong my genes are. I see my father his brothers and his mother in my face- to me that’s not cute. They’re family (cracking up as I write this).

I’ve been been belittling my own self using past experiences of when people told me no. Another year is approaching and I intend to do more and talk less. To think highly of myself and try rather than assume that because someone has done it and it didn’t work for them, I’ll also have that same response. 

My ramblings may not mean much but it’s helping me as I complete this blog. I’m in a fragile state now. If I answer you in a way that surprises you. I’m currently renovating.

23 Years and Still Counting

Looking at the years I’ve gone through; the achievements, experiences and lessons I’ve learnt I’ll say that I’m doing a good job. I’m coming from days when you’d put me before a group of people at church to recite something and I’d just start crying.

I’ve always been shy and I doubt that will go away but I’ve learnt how to work around it.

What I love about myself is the ability to learn; I’ve always wanted to understand what was happening around me.  Though it may lead me down the wrong path, even if I messed up, I have learned from it.

I’ve learnt that I’m a perfectionist; so I get flustered when things don’t work as they should, I’m impatient and stubborn. Though they may be negatives they help me to be more expressive in things that I dislike and getting the results I need.

I believe in being fair, I spoil those I care about, LOVE music and dancing, love the concept of travelling and my sanity is VERY important to me.

Lord grant me the serenity 

 to accept the things I cannot change

the courage to change the things I can

and the wisdom to now the difference

These are the things I’ve learnt, though they are what we constantly hear. They do make a difference when you have actually achieved them. In this Twenty Third year of my life:

  1. Nothing in this life is yours; whatever you want you have to work to maintain and keep it in your life.
  2.   It’s OK if you don’t know everything.
  3.  It’s OK to make a mistake.
  4.  Fuck Boys will always exist and though they are assholes, you need to now whether you want to continue to face the treatment or move on.
  5. We all need someone to lean on *queues the dance* however for you to find that special person you need to know and understand yourself.
  6. There will be moments when you have to be the bigger persons because that other person REFUSES to be.
  7. At times you have to create opportunities, as nothing will happen if you wait for them.
  8. Keep the relationship going with your family.
  9. Be honest with yourself, it saves you so much time, when you can accept your flaws, inabilities and insecurities than learning the hard way.
  10. LOVE yourself.
  11. Not everyone is for you, though they smile with you they may be against you.

I’m happy that regardless of what I have been through, I’m happy of what I’ve become. I’m NOT perfect, but I’d wouldn’t want it any other way.

My name is Jermaine Roberta Hope Peart and I am a UWI graduate, Respect Jamaica Youth Ambassador, Vice President of the Royal Optimist of Kingston (ROCK), who is quirky, caring and a passionate young woman who just wants to make my society and the world on a whole a better place for my generation and generations to come.